A FUnnie look at the loony residents of the Democratic Underground aka DUmmies in particular and the Leftwing Blogosphere in general.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Anger Over Newsweek 'First Gay President' Cover
Newsweek featured Barack Obama on the cover with a rainbow halo over his head with the title: "First Gay President." And now the DUmmies are angry because of the effect that cover will have on the election this year. I don't think Tina Brown was doing The One any favors when she chose that Newsweek cover. My thought is that the Newsweek folks and many other media liberals live in an insulated bubble which prevents them from seeing the damage that cover can do to the Bamster. However, many DUmmies are worried about this as well as ANGRY at Newsweek as you can see in this THREAD, "WOW, Newsweek Cover: "The First Gay President." So let us now watch the DUmmies work up a rage over the Newsweek "First Gay President" cover in Bolshevik red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thinking that the only person angrier over that cover than the Dummies is Barack himself, is in the [barackets]:
WOW, Newsweek Cover: "The First Gay President"
[Sometimes even Newsweek is accurate.]
Since the President himself is not gay, "Pro-Gay President" would be more exact..n/t
[Either way, Ben Burch will take it.]
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
[Whispered the voice from the Seinfeld wing of DUmmieland.]
WTF??? I know..I'm dreaming...a well-meaning fourth grade student was allowed to write the copy for the cover of an internationally distributed magazine...or...DC Comics has a new Bizarro World mag disguised for April Fools... Jesus...no, i'm awake. Did someone tell Michelle about this, or like Rudy Giuliani's wife, who apparrently didn't know she was getting a divorce, did she have to hear this stuff from the media?
[I think Michelle knew about this long, long ago.]
Yeah, I kind of agree. Beltway folks and politicos will get it almost certainly...but it's going to cause the same sort of "Whaaa?" reaction from people that that goddamned awful New Yorker cover did, with Obama and his wife dressed up like terrorists, fist-bumping in the Oval Office did.
[Whaaa? ...hahahahahahahaha!!!!!]
Wonder what Michelle will think of that.
[She will think that he is the first metrosexual president.]
I would hazard a guess that this won't go over well with some people while most everyone was fine with the media pronouncing Clinton "the first black President."
[It will go over quite well with Ben Burch.]
f*ck newsweek....the wingers will only see the headline....and believe it.
[I BEEEEEEEELIEEEEEEEVE!!!]
President Obama reads Andrew's Blog the Daily Dish.
[Did Newsweek dish out one secret too many?]
Unfortunately, some bigots who might otherwise vote for Obama will also be turned against him because of this. I absoutely wish that our society were mature enough and decent enough to elect a gay president--or a woman president, for that matter--but I do not think it is. Of course, I also wish I could trust the American people in general to udnerstand what is meant by this cover.
[Oh we understand the cover quite well. Hee! Hee!]
It Could Have Been Worse. They could have had him suckling the nipple of another man on the cover.
[Ben Burch just volunteered to be that other man.]
Between this and the Time magazine cover... It's amazing that news weeklies have lasted this long.
[This week I am predicting the biggest sales for Newsweek in years. Almost every gay bar in the country will buy a copy just to put that cover on their walls.]
"Cherokee Checkbox": The Faux Squaw, the Democrats' Warren Woman
Elizabeth Warren, the Democrat candidate for Senate in Massachusetts, is the darling of DUmmieland. The men think she's a MILHFW (Mother I'd Like to Have a Frappucino With). The women want to have her baby. In DUmmieland, she is Queen Elizabeth.
Recently, though, in the real world, some disturbing facts have come out about Elizabeth Warren. Turns out Liz listed herself as a "Native American" in her bio as a professor. Checking the "Native American" box gave her "minority status," don't ya know. And Lizzie would talk about her grandfather who had "high cheekbones," which apparently is proof of Indian blood.
Well, it's possible Elizabeth Warren MAY, at most, be 1/32 Cherokee from some great-great-somebody way back when. But even that is in doubt now. It's just come out recently that she had an ancestor who was among the soldiers that ROUNDED UP the Cherokees to take them on the "Trail of Tears." Oopsie! Guess the family lore got mixed up a little bit.
Are the DUmmies mad that Lizzie Warren deceived them? Nope. The DUmmies are mad at Rethug Sen. Scott Brown, who pointed out the problems with Warren's bogus bio. The DUmmies are putting on their warpaint. Smoke signals are rising from their bonfires. Witness this THREAD, "Elizabeth Warren getting grief for listing herself as Native American before getting hired @ Harvard."
But before we get to the DUmmies, I want to offer up this musical tribute to Elizabeth Warren. Click the music link and sing along!
She took some small Cherokee ration Put this on her information "Native A," although it's slight She checked the box even though she's white
Took a while till it was known That Liz is Anglo to the bone And all the claims she made before Aren't Lizzie Warren's anymore
Cherokee Checkbox, Cherokee Pride So proud you hold your cheekbones high
She took the whole Indian fable Used it for her PC label Though she's blond with eyes of blue She's still a redskin through and through
Cherokee Checkbox, Cherokee Pride So proud you hold your cheekbones high
But maybe someday when she's beat Cherokee Checkbox will retreat Will retreat Will retreat Will retreat Will retreat
Yes, Elizabeth Warren--aka Princess Summelfall Feranything . . . Spreading Bull . . . Dances With Moonbats . . . the Faux Squaw . . . the Democrats' Warren Woman.
Lizzie Warren took an "x" And filled some boxes with her checks And when she came to "Cherokee" She checked her cheekbones, said "That's me!"
So let us now embark on the "Trail of Laffs" and see what the DUmmies are saying, in What-Makes-the-Red-Man Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, wondering if Will the Shill Pitt will be able to get a job working for Warren--Nope! Remember, this Saturday, May 12, will be the sixth anniversary of Fitzmas--is in the [brackets]:
Elizabeth Warren getting grief for listing herself as Native American before getting hired @ Harvard
[Why? Whatever for? Isn't it obvious that she's a Cherokee? I mean, other than the blond hair and blue eyes.]
Warren explains minority listing, talks of grandfather's "high cheekbones"
[Ah, the cheekbones! Of course! A surefire giveaway.]
Massachusetts Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren on Wednesday sought to explain her controversial decision to list herself as a Native American in a directory of law professors for nearly a decade before getting a job at Harvard Law School and said she is absolutely qualified for her job.
[Celebrate diversity!]
"I listed myself directory in the hopes that might mean that I would be invited to a luncheon a group something with people who are like I am."
[Would that be the luncheon for People Who Fudge on Their Résumés?]
[The DUmmies chime in . . .]
1/32 Cherokee isn't enough to say u are part Native American???
[Shocking that anyone would question that, right? Even though, I suppose, the person would be, technically, I guess, sort of 31/32 NOT Native American.]
Warren hails from Oklahoma, formerly Indian Territory.
[Well, that settles it! That, and Grandpa Cheekbones.]
My mother was 1/32 Cherokee. . . . I believe that I no longer qualify. Though I still tan red instead of brown, can't grow chest hair, and my facial hair is sparse.
[Look, Nadin, just because you can't grow chest hair and your facial hair is sparse, look on the bright side: You save on shaving cream.]
Osiyo, Dinadanvtli!
[Ugh!]
I'm part Chocktaw . . .
[And full Moonbat.]
She is Native American.
[You are Naive American.]
Self identifying as a minority for 11 years is a bit disturbing, especially when benefits can be attained by that claim.
[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]
Huh?
[How!]
Claiming benefits to which you are entitled is "disturbing"?
[Yeah! If I want to self-identify as a Native African-American Wise-Latina Lesbian Trapped in a Man's Body, who are you to question me?]
If you have Indian blood then you are an Indian.
[Wisdom from the Hopi Elders.]
do people really give a sh*t about this ?
[Let's find out . . .]
cool... I didn't know she had native american in her
[Apparently some people DO give a sh*t. It's the White Guilt thing, you know. Anything not white is cool. Even if it's 1/32. So Elizabeth Warren, the Faux Squaw, is officially cool.]
This has not been a good week for Barack Obama. The One kicked off his re-election campaign--not that he has ever STOPPED campaigning--Obamassiah kicked off his re-election campaign the other day, and half the crowd in the stadium came disguised as empty seats. The Obama campaign rolled out an ad called "The Life of Julia," which portrays women as lifelong dependents on the federal government, but "Julia" was met with universal mockery. Then yesterday BO did manage to win the WV Dem primary, but 40% of the vote went to a federal inmate named Keith Judd. Enthusiasm gap, anyone? The thrill is gone.
Likewise for the DUmmies as a whole, this has not been a good week. The Democrats' Warren Woman, Lizzie Warren, aka Princess DUmmerfall Winterspring, has been revealed to be a faux squaw. And Kathleen Falk, DUmmieland's choice to run against WI Gov. Walker in the recall election, got drubbed in the Dem primary.
What's more, North Carolina voters yesterday passed a ban on homo marriage, by a vote of over 60%. So what did Dear Leader do just now today? He came out in favor of homo marriage! Forward, BO! Forward! Yes, Barry, you go ahead and SPIT in the face of the voters of North Carolina, a state you MUST carry to win in November! The economy is in shambles, the debt is skyrocketing, gasoline prices are sky-high, jobs are scarce--and Barry's big move is to massage Bawney Fwank's . . . ego.
Democrats across the land must be sweating nervously, as they contemplate the Community Organizer-in-Chief dragging them down to defeat this fall. But in DUmmieland--in DUmmieland, the sound of REJOICING resounds o'er every hill and vale! Huzzah! Huzzah! FINALLY, President Obama has come to his senses and come out in favor of marriage equality! This is a Great Day in the history of the world! Sodomite marriage--the issue that will carry Progressives to victory in November and on into the ages of ages to come! Tears of joy are flowing freely. Dozens of threads to celebrate. We'll go with this THREAD, "BREAKING: Obama Embraces Marriage Equality."
So let us enter the DUmmieland Den of Denial, in Bolshveik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, applauding the President's unintentional War on Democrats, is in the [Barackets]:
BREAKING: Obama Embraces Marriage Equality
[BREAKING FORTH IN JOY: DUmmies Embrace Obama's Empty Pandering to teh Gheys]
President Obama has come out . . .
[FINALLY! We were all wondering when he would admit the obvious. . . . Oh, wait, there's more . . .]
President Obama has come out in support of marriage equality. . . .
[On behalf of all husbands everywhere, I appreciate the sentiment.]
. . . for gay and lesbian people. . . .
[Oh. Never mind.]
OBAMA: I have to tell you that over the course of several years as I have talked to friends and family and neighbors when I think about members of my own staff who are in incredibly committed monogamous relationships, same-sex relationships, who are raising kids together. . . .
[Here's a clue, Obama. If they are in "same-sex relationships," they CANNOT have kids together. It is physically impossible. They may "raise" them, but they cannot HAVE them.]
when I think about those soldiers or airmen or marines or sailors. . . .
[You mean the seamen?]
I’ve just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married.
[Note: Nothing has changed because of BO coming out with this opinion today. But you'd think it was the greatest day since the dawn of fruit roll-ups, judging by the DUmmies' reaction . . .]
Bravo Mr. President!
[WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!]
Now we just need to help him and the Dems in November to finalize equality!
[Go for it! Forward! Sodomy today, bestiality tomorrow!]
He was in Albany the other day and had a meeting with Cuomo.
[Cuomo is a huomo? I did not know that. Are they planning to tie the knot?]
F***ing HUGE!!! I'm spreading this far and wide!
[Is that what Cuomo said? Well, you know what they say. . . .]
Oh, yes, it is! Yes indeed!
[Cuomo was VERY excited.]
HOLY F***ING SH*T!!!
[That's one way to describe it.]
Tweety says this is earth-shaking.
[Chrissy Matthews is VERY jealous.]
well, the handwriting was on the wall. . . .
[And it said, "For a good time, call Ken, 555-3124."]
I guess we have Joe Biden to thank for causing the issue to be brought to a head. . . .
[Plugs Biden--oh, God love ya, what am I sayin'? It is IMPOSSIBLE to avoid double entendres in this thread!]
I think a lot of iffy, kind of dejected voters are pumped up now.
[Obama was wanting to fire up the base. . . . DARN! See what I mean?]
The crap he is going to take right now will be worth it in the end.
[I give up.]
Of course, this will likely cost him my bigoted state of NC. . . .
[Hee! Hee! And may Ohio, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Florida, and all the other bigoted swing states be added to the list!]
Oh the horror! The absolute HORROR!!! A DUmmie goes into a Wendy's and what should be playing on the big screen TV but Fox News. His tiny brain must suffer from the "infection." Even worse, DUmmie peace13 knows that other customers are being exposed to information not approved by the liberal party line spouted by the other networks as you can see in this THREAD, "Local Wendy's just installed a big screen TV!" So let us know watch the DUmmie outrage over contrary political views being permitted in a public restaurant in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, continuing with his Django Rhinehart typing, is in the [brackets]:
Local Wendy's just installed a big screen TV!
[Now tell us the horror story.]
Today we went to our local Wendy's and lo and behold they have installed a big screen TV. We asked the manager if she would please change the channel and she said that they had tried that and it only shows black on other stations. Faux News there, as big as life. Seven months before a big election and they plunk that thing in the dining room.
[Yeah, that one big screen TV showing Fox News could well swing the outcome of the election.]
I called the operating manager and l let him know that I was upset about the addition and he asked me what I had against *ox News. I let him know that it wasn't news and that we found it offensive. He asked what channel I would like to see and I let him know that I wouldn't direct anyone to a particular station but if they were insistent on showing TV, the weather channel might be as useful as any this time of year.
[Did the manager also ask if you're off your meds?]
He said that he would pass the info to the owners and I let him know that we would be back next week and if *ox was still on that would be it for us. Our other peace nic friends were in there and they too were disgusted. If the regulars quit coming maybe it will mean something. This is sad because up until now the restaurant had been a neighborhood gathering place. [Maybe that could please you by broadcasting Al Jazeera. And now on to the other outraged DUmmies...]
Our local hospital has Fox on the tv in the waiting room. Completely empty room on the ICU floor, tv blaring. I had to be in that room while a family member was being seen in ICU. I turned it to Nat Geo channel, turned volume down. After a few minutes someone else came into the waiting room and stared at the tube, then asked if I minded if they changed the channel. I told them only hospital staff were allowed to touch it.
[Good job. You LIED to prevent the possibility of anybody else watching FOX News.]
i remember Fox was on at Macy's just outside the fitting rooms where people can wait
[There goes the election!]
I bet you can find someplace that serves real food with no TV.
[Check your local DUmpster.]
There are two McDonald's in the town I live in and both refuse to play anything but Fox News. I know because I have asked and been told that is what the franchise owner wants broadcast. It was the same in the gastroenterologist office I used to go to. I say exercise your right to not be propagandized. Get up, tell them why and go somewhere else.
[Maybe these outlets know that FOX News is by far the most popular cable news channel and want to make available what their customers want to see. Or do you think they should be paying Current TV?]
I find it truly amazing that people have become so impressionable that merely having a news report from an unfavorable source during the time that it takes to consume a hamburger is of such a danger that they cannot be subjected to it without having to protest and raise fuss. Eat at home lest ye be led astray.
Did the world seem to be, well, a better place when you woke up this morning? Was the sun shining a little more brightly? Were the birds singing more sweetly? Is there a new sense of justice and fairness and equality in the air you breathe today? Yes?
Yes, I know there is. Why? Because yesterday was MAY DAY 2012, THE DAY WHEN EVERYTHING FINALLY CHANGED (v. 47.2). MAY DAY! MAY DAY! The day so highly anticipated, the premier event of the Prog Spring of 2012, is now history. Indeed, it MADE history, that is how significant it is. In the annals of annaldom, this will go down as something that happened.
People--THE People, the 99%--took to the streets and did nothing. To do nothing for one whole day--think of the impact! No work! No school! No chores! Not One D*mn Anything Day! GENERAL STRIKE! SHUT IT DOWN! Bring the f***ing capitalist pigs TO THEIR KNEES!
Thus did the DUmmies of DUmmieland express their solidarity with this movement of non-movement, viz., the Occupy May Day General Strike. Witness this THREAD, "Occupy movement prepares for nationwide general strike."
So let us now leave the 1% behind and go in search of the 99, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, occupies the space in the [brackets]:
Occupy movement prepares for nationwide general strike. . . .
[YES! OCCUPY! GENERAL STRIKE!]
Occupy Wall Street organizers plan hundreds of marches, strikes and teach-ins in 120 cities around the country on Tuesday for what they call a “general strike” for economic justice.
[Teach-ins, even! Think of the impact!]
May Day protesters from New York labor unions, immigrants groups and others are expected to march from Union Square to Wall Street on Tuesday for “A Day without the 99 Percent.”
["A Day without Trust Fund Ted Hall." It will DEVASTATE Wall Street!]
Officials in other cities, such as Seattle, have warned of the possibility of vandalism and violence.
[V for Vandalism and Violence. Be sure to don your Guy Fawkes masks and gas masks (which you need anyway when hanging out with the OWSies).]
Other big actions are planned for the West Coast, including a large march in the San Francisco Bay area. Organizers said a plan to shut down the Golden Gate Bridge has been scrapped.
[Pitt was too pooped to cross that bridge.]
If there's violence I'm washing my hands of them.
[Pitt is washing his head.]
Will someone please give me a job so i can stay home tomorrow?
[If a DUmmie stays in the basement, and there's no job around to stay home from, does it go on strike?]
M1GS (May 1st General Strike) is not just a day of not doing things. It's also a day of . . .
[. . . complaining about not having things to not do.]
Many of us here will be in the streets tomorrow. Occupying. Whose streets? OUR streets!
[OUR streets! Yes! Take to them! Occupy them! Say it loud, say it proud: WE'RE PIERCED! WE'RE COMMUNIST! WE'RE IN YOUR SPACE!]
I will participate and spread the word.
[MIC CHECK! WE ARE THE 99%! SPEAK TRUTH TO POWER!]
This the people's last best hope for real change.
[POWER TO THE PEOPLE, BABY! RIGHT ON!]
Be careful about putting all your eggs in one basket, there.
[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! AGENT PROVOCATEUR!!! You're trying to squelch the rising tide and dispirit the multitudes!]
see you in the streets!!!
[It will happen! The world is on tiptoes!]
In the STREETS, bro!!!
[Speak it!]
We're in.
[Just hours to go now!]
I've been encouraging workers to wear red . . .
[BOLSHEVIK Red. . .]
. . . in solidarity even if you can't participate.
[Even if you're not able to not do anything, you can still do something! Brilliant! It'll make an impact!]
How well publicised was this?
[Um, well . . . MAY DAY! MIC CHECK! SHUT IT DOWN! WE ARE THE 99%!]
I think I only first saw something about it on the main DU forums yesterday. If it had that low visibility on a site like DU that should be ideal for the message, I suspect the action won't get to the level that can be called a 'general strike'.
[Another agent provocateur, squelching and dispiriting! Shut her down!]
It has been posted here sporadically for about 2 months or more
[Two months of sporadic posts on DU. How can anyone NOT have heard of it??]
first I heard of this was this evening.
[Oopsie.]
It is going to fizzle...occupy is dead...and has been for quite a while.
[NO! NO! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!! LA LA LA LA. . . .]
[Well, this thread is turning into a bummer. Let's try another THREAD. . .]
Prediction: The May 1st "general strike" is going to be an enormous flop.
[LA LA LA LA. . . .]
Yeah, yeah, I'm sure I'll get called a capitalist imperialist running dog lackey for this.
[F***ING capitalist imperialist running dog lackey!]
There's a good reason that you can count the number of general strikes in the US in the last century on one hand and still have fingers left over--it's a practically nonexistant phenomenon, and pretending that you can summon one out of thin air would be funny if it weren't so egomaniacal.
[DUmmie TheWraith, you can count the number of Kewpie Dolls about to be delivered to your door on one finger! Please continue . . .]
If they had bothered to study history, they would know that what they want to try has been tried, and failed, and tried again, and failed again, ad nauseum.
[Go to the Ad Nauseam Museum and you can see the exhibits.]
This will likely make one news cycle and then be written off as a failure.
[Sorry, DUmmie LadyHawkAZ, only Kewpie per DUFU.]
If it gets 5 minutes on the evening news, I'll be amazed.
[But if we give it 5 minutes on the DUFUs, you'll be amused!]
How about defining some specific objectives?
[Sheesh! What does THAT have to do with anything??]
How about organizing politically and running candidates for office? How about not protesting violently? How about defining an identity that goes beyond "We're against income inequality and political corruption"? OWS hasn't done any of those things and as a result, they've fallen off the radar screen and I doubt very many are paying attention.
[Another May Day Naysayer! Agent provocateur!]
If you can't specifically identify the objectives that will fix those problems, the demonstrations are a waste of time.
[So? It's OUR waste of time! On OUR streets! MIC CHECK! 99%! OCCUPY! SHUT IT DOWN! 99%! SHUT IT. . . .]
it is an opportunity to re-connect with other Occupiers and engage with new ones.
[Yes! Re-connect! Engage! Hook up! Meet some chicks! Cool! I'm all over it!]
There are a lot of teach-ins scheduled.
[Teach-ins! Think of the impact!]
What do you think will become of Occupiers if M1GS fizzles?
["If it fizzles"? "IF IT FIZZLES"?? Where is your FAITH, man??? I BELIEEEEEVE!!!]
for some reason Democrats like to piss on fellow Democrats.
[Just ask benburch.]
Define "enormous flop".
[Enormous flop (n.): Prog event or activity that is supposed to change the world but fails to do anything, even when not doing anything is the main (in)activity. See Freudenschade.]
I'mmmmm BAAAAAAAACK!!! I had a new cast put on my hand last week that allowed three free fingers on my right hand. After a few days of getting used to it, I can now do a sort of Django Rhinehart method of typing. Complete cast comes off on June 4 and hopefully my pinkie won't be sticking out at an odd angle.
Anyway, the DUmmies do not disappoint in their idiocy. Right now they are gripping about the lousy economy as you can see in this THREAD, "I realized tonight that America's 99% are f*cked for years to come." Excuse me but who has been president for the past three years, two of those years with large Democrat majorities in Congress. So after the "shovel ready" stimulus plan completely failed, the DUmmies are whinining about the bleak economic future. So let us now watch the DUmmies inadvertently give us more reasons to remove the Bamster from office in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, developing a new appreciation for a certain 3-fingered gypsy, is in the [brackets]:
I realized tonight that America's 99% are f*cked for years to come
[OBAMA 2012.]
I was listening to Tavis Smiley in the car. He was interviewing folks who'd been jobless for years. Some homeless at times. People who had good jobs and good lives previously, but now they're in dire straights. America has changed.
[The change happened in November 2008.]
And it struck me like lightning that here's no light visible at the end of this tunnel. One political party is calling for austerity against the 99%. Our other political party is calling for austerity against the 99% while throwing us a few little treats. "Free" trade, more bank deregulation, and civil liberties down the drain. Citizen's United. Avarice, cowardice, and incompetence.
[Among those little treats are even more hilarious DUFU editions. Enjoy!]
Poverty, homelessness and hunger are increasing, increasing. Meanwhile, the wealthy grow wealthier as they suck what little bits are left to suck from the rest of us. No help on the horizon, sorry.
[Hmmm... And WHO is president? I can't seem to recall.]
I hope we get past this, but it will take a long while. Not fun to think about: but here we are.
[And yet no doubt as to who DUmmie MannyGoldstein will be voting for this November. And now on to the other clueless DUmmies...]
There is a lack of will thus far to do what must be done. But wealth can be expropriated\confiscated through higher taxes on the wealthy and stiffer inheritance taxes. What has been lacking until now is the will to see things through.
[The solution is to go the full Bolshevik.]
We elect people to do the job. Then they abandon us. Frustrating.
[So WHO did you elect in 2008?]
As far as I can tell we will be in this mode for many many years. Japan has been here for 20+ and nothing has really improved for them. If we are lucky, we'll just trundle along like this for a couple decades. If not, we will have a complete economic collapse.
[Spaketh the DUmmie sure to vote for The Bamster again.]
I feel really lucky to have the President we have. We need to get behind him and roll up our own freaking sleeves rather than just complaining about him not doing enough. As you so ably point out in this thread, he's already done a lot. If we just sit on our asses and let bad news depress us, we end up doing nothing.
[Auditioning for a DNC job?]
there needs to be a confiscatory tax on WEALTH in this country, not just income. It never has been a matter of the amount of wealth in the USA. It's ALWAYS been about the distribution of that wealth.
[They got stuff. We want it.]
Democrats need to really do something, but they long ago stopped representing the needy and poor, and now represent affluent with guilty consciences. It just sucks.
[Count this as another sure Rat vote in November.]
This is the fourth year of a recession. The sky is not falling.
[Relax and enjoy the FUnEmployment.]
Fourth year - with nothing changing as far as the eye can see. That's the problem.
[Didn't you get a shovel ready Green job?]
We need 125,000 new jobs each month to account for the population gain among working-age folks. And the new jobs are worse than the jobs that were lost.
[Bush's fault!]
Back in the 1990s I had a factory job that made me lower class - I made 160% of the poverty level, making satellite dishes.
[And now you're washing dishes.]
Revolution is a noble goal which I fully support. I question the resolve of the people in the street’s I just don’t see it going further than mass arrests.
[And empty pizza cartons surrounding wannabee Bolsheviks posting from the safety of Mommy's basement.]
You're right. I give up. Enjoy your stay.
[That was WILLIAM RIVERS PITT defending the OWS movement whose demonstrations he has NEVER attended.]
It's very frustrating that we elect and work for Democrats to get them into office, and then we are expected to push, beg and plead with them to do what we sent them there to do.
OccuPoet Misty: "The Huff and Puff of My Frustration"
Prog Spring of 2012 continues. Today we meet OccuPoet Misty Rowan of Minneapolis, who will grace us with one of her poems. Misty came to my attention via this THREAD in DUmmieland, "Our Amazing Occupy Poet!" I watched the video, and yes, I was amazed . . . at what passes for poetry with the OWSies and the DUmmies.
And seeing Misty of Minneapolis, I was reminded of Ted of New York. You know, Trust Fund Ted? Ted Hall, Tedward, Edward Twitchell Hall III, Flea-bagger Ted, Our Favorite OWSie. Remember when we introduced you to Ted "Help us now!" Hall last fall?
You see, Ted is a poet, too. Now if only we could get Ted and Misty together! Shaggy would have his Velma! Ted Hall and Misty Rowan: It would be Rowan and Moron's Laugh-In!
But this is Misty's day. Misty has her own BLOG, where she goes by the blog-handle, "MissTeaTree." Here's a little about her: "I live in Mpls, I listen to Ani DiFranco and I voted for Cynthia McKinney in the
last presidential election. I am a member of the anti-war committee (.org) and
in my time that's less than free I bag groceries at my local foods co-op. I
consider poetry to be a performance-based, storytelling medium, so most of my
stuff is spoken word. To me, art and activism are the same thing." (She bags groceries at her local foods co-op? So she's a Brie-bagger?)
So let us now be amazed and amused at the art and activism of OccuPoet Misty Rowan, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, inviting you now to click the link to the VIDEO and . . . wait for it . . . play Misty for me . . . is in the [brackets]:
The Huff and Puff of My Frustration
[The Stuff I Puff for Recreation]
(Laughs) It's not fair. If I were to punch you, as hard as I could, I would sprain my own wrist. You would maybe notice, as I reduced myself to tears. So instead I use my words. And I'll tell you one thing: This mouth? Never got me in a fight it didn't right-and-the-f*** get me back out of. You see, I said I use my words instead. And it's been working (so far).
[(Laughs) It's not fair. If I were to do poems for you, as bad as mine are, you would slit your own wrist. You would maybe notice, as you tried to cover your ears, that I don't use meter or lines or rational thought. So instead, I just talk real fast. And I'll tell you one thing: This mouth? It's a poety potty mouth. I throw in a "f***" or a "sh*t" here and there to express my free-floating angst. Then I add something hopeful-sounding at the end. And it's been working (so long as I'm talking to the far left).]
But, they're bailing out the banks again, those leeches with their fees. So the question then becomes: How much is your money worth? Depends. How much have ya got? Not a lot? Oh, that's okay, baby girl! You too could still be president. Just get in line, and we'll call you. And in the meantime, try to find a job worth a damn to do, because the rent is due, and you're not getting any younger, and these cards aren't exactly stacked in your favor. I said, get a clue, and pay attention, because the undercurrent is ever changing in its direction.
[But, I'm flailing at the banks again, those rich guys with toupees. 'Cause the question I want to avoid is: How much is our money worth? Depends. How much are we in debt? Quite a lot? Oh, that's okay, liberal! You should still vote for our president. Just get in line, and we'll fool you. And in the meantime, try to keep up with this poem, because I'm not half through, and it's not getting any less longer, and these words aren't exactly arranged in coherent order. I don't have a clue, so pay attention, because my underwear is starting to cause me irritation.]
And you wanna stay ahead of that game. You want that spot on top of the food chain, don't ya? Everybody's so busy looking out for #1, and then they wonder why they feel so all alone. So many skin and bones, while the top 1% clench their law enforcement fist so tight that you have the right to work until you die in this country, and that's about it. Now pay your bills and buy some sh*t. And don't forget to check your credit score.
[And you wanna have someone to blame. You got hate to fill up a freight train, don't ya? Everybody's so busy lashing out at the 1%, and then we ought to whine about our student loan. So many can't afford smartphones, while the top 1% won't raise a finger to assist our plight, and you have no right to make me work to buy things in this country, so let's throw a fit. Now pay my bills while I smoke some sh*t. And don't leave yet, because there's even more.]
And it gets harder to ignore when they're coming right for ya. But these folks, they just don't care anymore. You can change the channel if it bores ya. Me, I threw out my TV. People gotta tell me when I'm on it. People gotta explain the whole commercial, 'cause I never catch the reference. Man, I got better things to see. And I understand that time is precious. Mine is spent in reverence of this occupation, because I am in love with it, I am in love with it. I just. . . .
[So don't go running out the door when I'm going on forever. But some folks, they just can't take anymore. You can slit your other wrist if I bore ya. Some, they throw up hearing me. People often tell me that they vomit. People gotta exclaim and beg for mercy, 'cause I never catch a second breath. Man, I got better things to do than breathe. And I like to think that time is meaningless. Mine is spent irrelevant of close calculation, because I am in love with the sound of my voice, I am in love with it. I just. . . .]
(Deep breath) I need to learn how to slow down and just appreciate this moment. This one, 'cause it's all there is. And then I'm off again, forgetting. And I'm looking up again, and I'm searching for the lines that I had memorized, so that I--so that, well, so that I could think about something else.
[(No breath) I refuse to learn how to slow down and just approximate a regular poet. It's fun, 'cause I'm such a whiz. And then I'm off again, forever. And I'm looking at folks getting up again, and I'm searching for the ones that I can mesmerize, so that I--so that, well, so that I could speak about something else.] Sometimes I feel helpless. Like I have a needle but no thread, so it's no good. I can only manage the damage. Sometimes I'm the subject of this charade, and some days I'm just its contents, that is displayed as a series of statistics--and yes, I am sometimes Y. So what of it? And what difference does it make when you die?
[Sometimes I feel clueless. Like I have a noodle but no bread, so it's no food. I can only mangle the language. Sometimes I'm a poet who sounds clichéd, and some days I'm just a moonbat, that is displayed as one serious yet simplistic--and yes, I am out of time. So what of it? And what difference does it make where I rhyme?]
Well, I want a government that practices something like the "take a penny, leave a penny" system. And there will come a day, but either way I'm for that rain-or-shine type of activism: the committed, who don't shed their tears but collect them, weaving them into meaningful tales. We tell each other stories of bravery and compassion to keep ourselves warm, to keep our hearts burning.
[Well, I want a government that practices something like the "take the booty from the snooty" system. From there will come our pay, but either way I'm for that soak-the-rich type of socialism: the dim-witted, who don't pay their taxes but collect them, receiving them into buckets and pails. We tell each other stories of slavery and oppression to keep ourselves mad, to keep our hate burning.]
And I'll tell you another thing: It's you, me, and everybody. So don't go making enemies, 'cause you can't win. Instead, it's time to start talking to these strangers, our neighbors. It's time to start caring for each other again. Call it community, call it an occupation, call it revolution if you wanna. Just get on it! Ten years ago woulda been a good place to start. Now will do. Or, at least I think we can all agree that now is the very best we can do.
[And I'll tell you another thing, and another, and another. So don't go making for the exit, 'cause I'm not done. Instead, it's time to start talking even longer, for hours. It's time to start wearing out my welcome again. Call it prolixity, call it a bloviation, call it regurgitation if you wanna. Just don't vomit! Ten years ago mighta been the time I began to start. I'm not through. Or, at least I think we can all agree that June is the very earliest I can do.]
So come with me and take heart. I got some New Year's resolutions and a good idea where to start. I got some friends on the inside, the outside, the flipside, and the best part is that you decide your place in this world, okay? You decide. So let's start. Because to build a better world, all you really gotta do . . . is your part.
[So come with me and smoke pot. I got some stashed inside my backpack and a good idea it's a lot. I got some friends from the insane, the profane, the birdbrain, and the upshot is that we complain about our place in this world, okay? Sweat and strain? No, let's not. Because to build a better world, all you really gotta do . . . is jack squat.]
I am a 30,000 year old reincarnated being who materializes once every 5000 years in a Las Vegas hotel suite. My greatest goal in my eternal life is to spend 6 months on a small tropical island with Mary Matalin doing nothing but pitching a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert) deal with her. If you happen to be Mary Matalin, please contact me at:
pjcomix@gmail.com. If you are anybody else, you can contact me there too. Remember, if you are a book publisher, please feel free to embarrass me with an extravagant book advance.
